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LeeAnnism: shoes

Friday, May 3, 2013

After a day in a pair of Naughty Monkey heels, let me tell you the truth about shoes; shoes are like Sirens. No, not the horns they sound in the case of a tornader, but mythical Sirens like those from the Odyssey. Non-readers refer to Ice Age Continental Drift or Pirates of the Caribbean or some other movie reference. Anyway! Sirens and shoes, they are one in the same.
You see them. They see you. ***cue seducing harp music**** They call to you ***in a sexy soft voice***,"I am beautiful. I am lovely. You want me. Buy me. You must have me. You love me."
You reach for them, entranced and misty eyed, caught up in their Siren calls. You believe them when they say they belong with you. You grasp for them, believing they are just the thing you need. They look so pretty, so girly. They morph into gorgeous colors that match everything you own. They glisten and shine. You put them on in the store and they fit like Cinderella's lost slipper and that's when they have you. You take them into your home with naive trust never seeing your impending doom or ill fate. Then the day comes to put them on with the perfect outfit and strut your stuff. You're still caught up in their Siren calls, only seeing the good that they have enticed you with, but then midday comes, you're high on compliments unaware that those Sirens are eating your feet alive!!!!!! Suddenly, like a shark attack, they grab on with intensity that brings welding tears to your eyes. You are now in survivor mode, victim to the shoes vicious lies. You wonder how you will make it through the day. Your feet curse you and ache, next comes your calves feeling their wrath and the next thing you know your entire mind and body is consumed by the agony of those darn Siren shoes. You beg and plead, but they show no misery. They are Sirens. They were made for this! Finally, the end of the day comes and you pry them from your feet. Your feet throb and charlie horses shoot pain through your body. You curse those lying Sirens and as you put them in the closet, you swear to never wear them again, but beware, because as long as they are with you, you are vulnerable to hearing their Siren calls and falling victim to them again.

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